well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
