The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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