So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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