Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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