In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
