I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
