I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
tell me about the fingering
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