Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
