Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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