Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
