ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My breasts were aching with rage.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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