Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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