We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
