a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
