i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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