i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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