He disabled his match.com account in front of me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
