Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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