i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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