Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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