I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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