I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
