I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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