After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
