is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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