I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
