Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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