Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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