I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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