i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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