I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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