tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
