Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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