google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
