Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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