According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
