Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
please come you make the beer taste better
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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