He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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