we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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