I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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