i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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