My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
