I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize