You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
