woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
