We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
