Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
