My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.