who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
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Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.