well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are