Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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