would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
