I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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