yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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