just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
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At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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