You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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