The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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