I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Panties = found
Randomize
