If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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