i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
