I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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