I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
