And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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