Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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