Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's never too late to be topless.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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