A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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