it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was so not down for the gang bang
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
