my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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